Still clicked on it hey? Even with a title like that!!!

Unfortunately I have done a Jenny and knackered myself on my first day. I got excited and did far too much with zero stretching, preparation or training. You know, all the sensible stuff people do before they wander off into the wilderness and try and climb cliffs.

I set aside today for some rest to assess how my leg was going to behave. Fortunately the guys at this campsite are lovely and let me stay another night. I say let me, it did cost me £12…………actually, that’s just a business transaction isn’t it.
Well, they are still lovely.

I awoke to the sounds of, what I can only assume, an elephant clearing it’s sinuses.
That’s one of the lovely things about camping, the level of intimacy with complete strangers you get as you all slumber in a field together separated by microns of fabric.
I unzipped my tent and put my coffee on as I watched a mum having a crafty cigarette in a kids play area before they woke up and a man emptying his piss bucket into a bush.

I had set my alarm today due to the promise of a man rocking up in his van packed with pastries, croissants and all the other delicious things our friends on the continent like to indulge in.
At 8:30 I wasn’t disappointed. A van appeared, parked up and a friendly looking chap hopped out and rung a bell to signal he was here. I couldn’t help thinking how pissed off I would be if I was having a lay in in the tent next to him.
I walked up as he opened the back doors. The aroma from the sweet treats that meandered it’s way to my nostrils was tantalising. The warmth and comfort I could almost feel from these tiny bundles of pleasure was palpable. “I hope you take card!!” I said jokingly because, obviously, everyone takes card nowadays.

“No mate, cash only. NEXT”

I won’t say anymore on this.

My next step was to go and have a shower and maybe a little cry in it.
It was that time of the morning so it was quite busy.
As I sat down to do what we all do in the mornings I laughed to myself as I pretended I was part of a really immature orchestra with the 4 blokes in the cubicles next to me.

After ticking one of my main jobs off the list I exited the cubicle and was confronted by some terminator, skynet style shower gadget that would foil my plans again with the old “Nah, cash only mate. NEXT” trick.

After groveling to the reception for a 20p to activate the AI driven shower module I activated my 2 minutes of designated shower time and freshened up for the day.

While I was drying I noticed HAL number two had started beeping and wouldn’t stop. I exited and grabbed my stuff and, being the good Samaritan that I am, wondered if I could stop the beeping. After reading the instructions I realised that double pressing a button would reset it.

I double pressed the button and shower 2 came back on with 4 seconds to go……….with a man still in there.
I assume he had finished his shower and pressed the button to stop it which had sent the ShowerNet 2 into its beeping frenzy. I also assume he was basically fully clothed by now because the language used would have made brick top blush.

With my good deed done for the day, I exited as quickly as I could while he fumbled with the lock to probably punch whatever dickhead had reactivated his shower.
Jesus, it’s not even 9am yet. I’d probably be safer walking along clifftops with a groin injury at this point.
After I watched the man leave the toilet and head back to his campervan I left the safety of the bush I was hiding in and headed back to my tent.

I needed to test out my injuries today to assess whether walking tomorrow was a good idea or not. I needed somewhere to head towards that would provide safety, shelter and sustenance if my leg really started giving me jip. I decided on a pub. Only a brisk 2km walk away and the elevation wasn’t extreme.

Perfect.

I arrived at the pub after a gorgeous walk. I managed to avoid fighting cows and stepping in cow pats on the way there. After the start to the day I’ve had I will take these little wins. The pub sold pasties and beer. Nothing else. It was great.
Do a couple of things and do them damn well. Great shout.

A waiter walked past and asked if some of the bits were finished with at a table with 4 french people. A stern “yes” and no more interaction made me think about manners and etiquette in different countries.
It also made me think about a time when a man ran in to me on his bike and I turned round and said “sorry”
I’m sure there is a middle ground somewhere.

The walk back wasn’t as confidence building.
As I left I noticed my leg twinging and when returning to the campsite I realised I was actually in a fair bit of pain.

As I was walking back to my tent I saw a kid and, I assume, his toddler brother trying to play swing ball. The older one hit the ball and it immediately swung round and hit the toddler in the head.
Cue crying from the toddler, apologise from the brother and a chuckle from me.
The kid was fine, I’m not a monster but…………still funny.

Anyway guys and girls. It is with a heavy heart and aching legs that I tell you I’m canning it for the moment and being a proper adult and listening to my body when it says “Jack, seriously mate, WTF”

My plan was to do this week, be an adult for 3 weeks then return and carry on. I still have this plan so watch this space but for now I need to sort this injury out so I’m fighting fit for next time.

Soz and all that.

Blog soon x